What to Say When Someone Loses a Pet
By Angeline Simmons, January 4, 2025
Whether you’re getting together with a friend who recently lost a pet or you’re planning to write a text or a card to someone whose animal crossed the Rainbow Bridge, it can be hard to come up with the right words.
The Pet Farewell spoke to over a dozen pet parents who recently lost their best friends. Below, you’ll find the words they found most comforting when they had to say goodbye.
What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Pet
It’s important to express your sincere condolences if someone loses their pet, and this may mean just saying you’re sorry to hear the news. In many cases, you don’t have to elaborate beyond that.
“I didn’t want to talk a lot about my dog after he died, but I did want people to at least acknowledge his loss,” said Allyson Fontaine, who lost her dog Dutch in 2024. “If you tell someone you’re sorry to hear their pet died, follow their lead on what to say next. They may want to tell stories and cry, or they might want to avoid the subject. But do say you’re sorry to hear the news.”
If you’re sending a card, text, email or other written communication, you may want to share a story about the pet if you have any fun or poignant memories. If the pet’s owner isn’t ready to dive into memories of their loved one yet, they can save it for another time and look back on the memories when they’re ready. You can also share a pet loss quote that may allow them to take comfort in the words of others.
“When Addie died, a friend of mine sent a long text reminding me of all the fun she had with Addie while cat-sitting for us last year,” said Tina Durham, whose cat Addie died in 2024. “I was too upset to look at it then, but when I was ready I looked back at it and it meant so much to have her words and to know that Addie made a difference in her life as well as in mine.”
Some words of comfort that pet parents say were nice to hear include:
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here if you need me.
[Pet name] was such a good friend to you, I know this must be hard. I’m here if you need an ear or anything else.
[Pet name] brought so much joy to this world, I know how much you’ll miss her.
You gave him such an amazing home, I know he felt loved every day. I’m so sorry for you and your family.
Call or text me any time, day or night — I’m here as you go through this difficult time.
You and [Pet name] had such a beautiful bond, I’m sure her loss is devastating. I’m here whenever you need me.
How to Comfort Someone Who Lost a Pet
If someone’s pet moves on, they may not want to talk in-depth about the loss right away. You should follow their lead and talk about the animal if they want to, or talk about other things if they prefer. Some people just want a few moments of normalcy in their day when they aren’t grieving.
“One of the things that meant the most to me after Dutch died was to have friends offer to go out for coffee together or to get our nails done,” Fontaine said. “It gave me a short escape and kept me from sitting home crying. One friend even went with me to a pet loss support group meeting and then lunch afterward.”
Others may just want you to listen. They might have stories they want to tell, or need assistance writing a pet obituary, or perhaps they’re trying to figure out what kind of pet funeral they’re planning. It’s important to listen and let them get it all out.
“I remember when I was trying to figure out what to do with my dog’s ashes, my sister just let me talk through all the options without providing input,” says Alison Walker, whose dog Jiminy died in 2023. “It helped me work through it just by having her there.”
Some people may be comforted by receiving sympathy flowers or a pet memorial gift, or by learning that you donated to a pet charity in their pet’s name. “I got a necklace from a friend with a cat paw print and Addie’s name on it,” Durham said. “I couldn’t wear it right away but once I put it on, I never wanted to take it off. I feel like she’s always with me now.”
“It meant a lot that a friend of mine sent sympathy flowers,” Fontaine said. “It showed that she knew I was feeling a lot of pain. After that, I felt like I didn’t have to hide how upset I was over Dutch’s death.”
What Not to Say When a Pet Dies
If you know someone who recently lost a pet, there are some topics you should avoid. Pet owners don’t want to hear the following phrases:
“It’s just a dog” (or cat, fish, bird, etc.). For many pet owners, losing a pet is just as difficult as losing a human family member. In fact, even other pets grieve when they lose a pet friend. Reducing someone’s grief by saying it’s “just” an animal that they lost will make them feel worse.
“You should have gotten over it by now.” There’s no set grief timeline, so expecting someone to get over their pet’s death is insensitive, and risks alienating them. It could make their grief worse by giving them the impression they need to stop talking about the pet.
“When my pet died…” Unless someone asks about your own experience losing a pet, don’t share your journey right away. It may feel like you’re relating to them, but they may take it as if you’re making their loss about you.
“You can get another pet.” A pet is unique and irreplaceable to their parents, so suggesting they go out and get another right away may make them feel like you’re treating their pet as an object and not as their best friend. Let someone decide on their own timeline whether they want another pet, and if so, when the time is right.